


A Conversation with Asami Ryuichi

by beach



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:29:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5146955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beach/pseuds/beach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asami explains why he won't play nice while I'm writing.</p><p>
  <strong>Excuse me? I don't have time to play. And if you want nice, you should have asked Akihito.</strong>
</p><p>As i was saying, Asami explains why the next chapter of "Checklist" won't have The Talk.</p><p>
  <strong>You shouldn't make a promise if you can't deliver.</strong>
</p><p>The one who didn't deliver was you...</p><p>
  <strong>I'm not the one who made the promise. Besides, I have my reasons.</strong>
</p><p>Let's hear them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of crack to explain why the next chapter of "Checklist" will be slow, and why the Talk will be a bit delayed.

Alright, so we're going to pick up with Asami right as Akihito takes the checklist from him...

**No.**

What do you mean no? Where do you want to start?

**Don't you want to know why I got up an hour after I went to bed?**

I already know. So you could play a prank on Akihito and provide some much needed levity to this story.

**Would I need to eat breakfast if I was just playing a prank?**

No... So what were you up to?

**Well, there was this whole incident where these bad guys wanted to get Akihito, remember?**

Sure. By the way, you're sounding more like Akihito than Asami right now.

**Whatever.**

You're still doing it. Hearing Akihito-speak in that sultry voice is disturbing.

**Fine. If the incident were resolved, we would go back home to the penthouse, right?**

Sure...

**Obviously it's not resolved yet. The readers will want to know what kind of danger Akihito is in, and what I'm doing about it!**

They say they really just want to hear about the Talk.

**Well, I can't focus on the Talk until I know my Akihito is safe.**

Fine. Tell me about it.

**[insert 2000 words of what happened after Operation Candy Crush until 7am here]**

Um, could I have the short version, please?

**That _was_ the short version! This is more serious than Hong Kong, and you want the short version?**

Well, it was an awful lot of telling instead of showing...

**Do you want the short version or the 5-chapter long version?**

Okay, fine, we can keep the short version. Why are you making this so complicated?

**It's not my fault. I live inside your brain.**

Oh, no. You're not putting this one on me. I totally wanted you to start with the Talk, remember?

 **You're the one who made me breakfast an hour after I went to bed! I had to be doing _something_. I'm the king of Tokyo's underworld. Exactly what did you expect me to be** **doing?**

Playing pranks on Akihito...

**And what else?**

Fine. You're right. This is important. But when the readers are disappointed and think that I pulled another bait-and-switch on them, I'm going to tell them it's all your fault.

**Whatever.**

Stop sounding like Aki already!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I already have 2000 words of what Asami was up to while Aki was sleeping. And from what he's whispered about what's coming up, the Talk is not going to happen this chapter. I won't make any suggestions about when it will happen, at this point. But it _will_ happen, I promise.
> 
> If you're interested in the 5-chapter long (rough approximation, and probably a slight exaggeration) version, let me know. Unless there's a strong desire to have the long version, I'm going to keep the short version so that the emphasis of this story can be on their relationship rather than what's going on outside. (Ahem, did you hear that Asami? **I heard. But this is important to the relationship.** Aki's right, you really can't admit when you're wrong, can you? **No.** )


	2. Another Conversation with Asami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um, I'm supposed to write the next chapter of Checklist now.  
>  **Why does this concern me?**  
>  It's your turn.  
>  **No.**  
>  Asami? Don't you want to brag about how hard you're working? Show off your skills?  
>  **The readers know how skilled I am.**  
>  And they kind of want a resolution.  
>  **It is inevitable.**  
>  Then let's hear it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one should probably be called an "un-conversation." For the sake of brevity, I left out 90% of my "Asami, where are you?" type of one-sided conversation.

I suppose you'll want to start right where you ended again... Right after you postpone your talk with Akihito again.

**By his request.**

Okay, so what happened next?

**You probably can't even remember what's happened so far, can you? You're going to drop some of those breadcrumb trails and ruin my whole grandmaster chess game.**

You're mixing your metaphors.

**See? You can't remember.**

I think I've got it, but fine. I'll take copious notes and make sure I keep track of it all.

*three hours later*

Yep, okay, ready for what's next!

**No.**

Now what's the problem?

**...**

Fine. I'll skip to Akihito and see what's happening with him. Aww, Aki-chan! I could stay with Aki-chan all night...

**...**

I see you're still ignoring me. I hope you didn't misconstrue what I just said.

**I did not.**

So what's the problem?

**There are a lot of threads to interweave. I'm not sure you're really capable.**

Fine. I'll take notes while you give me the short-short version.

*one hour later*

That's... that's not actually all that much.

**I'll leave it to you to fill in the details.**

But - but - well, I suppose I _am_ the writer, but still...

**Beach, you know how much I love watching you work, but I've got an underworld war to prevent, a Giant Book of Dirt to find, my talk with Akihito to arrange, Nara to murder, and Kurosaki to frame for it. I'm swamped.**

You're not actually going to do those last two, right?

**It's a parody of a line from a movie.**

I know. Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

**... zxnnkshhzznnkkkshh ...**

Okay, I didn't mean that literally. It was a quote from the same movie... Hello? Asami?

**...**

That's really not funny. You need to tell your story.

**I'm busy. Get Kou to do it.**

Are you seriously pouting about that?

**...**

Asami?

**...**

You're more childish than Akihito!

**...**

Please?

**...**

Um, I was told I should offer you Akihito as bait. After you finish this part...

**So you can break him?**

No no no. That was Nara. And he didn't _break_ ; he just had a little PTSD. But he's alright now, remember? And you get to give him that chess piece...

**Why chess, by the way? Why not shogi, which I already referenced in the very first chapter of the manga?**

Because they're cousins, and shogi doesn't have a queen? Can't you like more than one strategy game?

**Of course. I was just pointing it out.**

Why? Oh, right, because you're Akihito's favorite nickname for you. So... Akihito. Chess piece. *waves it in front of Asami as if it were candy in front of Akihito*

**And then I go back to work? And that's it?**

War to prevent, book of dirt to find, talk to arrange, Nara to murder, Kurosaki to frame... Ring a bell?

**So I won't actually get Akihito in the end.**

Of course you will. You just need to do some work first.

**I've already done it. Just do a time-skip.**

Okay... Where do _you_ want to start?

**Akihito.**

Akihito what?

**Akihito. That's it.**

You're still pouting over Kou taking your turn, aren't you?

**... I don't pout.**

I'm telling the readers you're a big old pouty baby.

**That's not going to get me to tell you what happened.**

Fine. I'll just make it up myself. Don't blame me if you end up sounding stupid or out of character.

**You wouldn't dare.**

Try me. You have until tomorrow morning. You'd better come up with something while I'm sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's why chapter 14 of Checklist has been slow: Asami is a big old pouty baby. I plan to write it when I get up, with or without him.


	3. Asami is a Coward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami explains why he's such a coward and won't step up and have his part of the talk.

Alright, Asami. Akihito hit you with some hard truths. Now it's your turn.

**Okay.**

Okay. And? You've got to actually _talk_ , you know.

**But this is too out of character for me.**

Aren't you scared that you're going to lose Akihito? He almost left you, you know.

**He said he was just going to stay at Kou's for a few days - but he changed his mind.**

I thought you said you were going to admit to being wrong starting today.

**I will.**

But it's your turn. Now.

**Okay.**

**...**

You keep turning the conversation to other topics.

**That's not me; that's Akihito.**

Don't blame Aki. When you did it to him, he stayed on topic. It might not have been in the same order he planned it, but he managed to cover everything he'd been planning to.

**I'm a businessman. You have to know how to make small talk. We'll get there eventually.**

**...**

This is terrible.

**I told you the whole premise is out of character for me.**

No, it isn't. We developed your character. _You're_ the one who decided to commit to apologizing.

**I was wrong about that.**

See? You can admit when you're wrong. It's not that hard.

**I'd lose face that I would never be able to regain.**

You don't think you made Aki lose enough face? You can't humble yourself for him after crushing his pride as a man?

**When you put it like that, I sound like a -**

It's not "sounds like"; you _are_ a coward!

**Coward? I was going for a different word.**

However you try to spin it, the appropriate word here is coward.

**Fine. Here.**

**...**

What is that? That's... terrible. It's so out of character.

**I told you.**

But you didn't have to go there. You could have gone a thousand different ways.

**Well, I did it. You fix it.**

But - but - but you're the character! Only you can fix it!

**...**

Don't leave me! Hey, Asami!

**...**

Where did you go?

**...**

Asami? Seriously, this isn't funny.

**...**

Asami, I need your help! We can fix this together. It's not _that_ bad. We can salvage it.

**...**

Wait, wait, wait. Asami, you know what happens after the talk, right? Making up! Akihito will be crawling in your lap!

**You won't write it. You'll skip that part.**

I will too write it. You know I write plenty of fluff. Fluff is my favorite.

**And what comes after the fluff?**

More fluff?

**Wrong! The good part. Which you refuse to write.**

That's because I want to give you your privacy and leave it to your imagination -- you _are_ very creative, aren't you?

**Imagination means imaginary. I don't want to _imagine_ the good part; I want to _experience_ it.**

And you will. Just... privately.

**Nope.  
**

But the readers want the rest of the Talk!

**Leave it as it is.**

That's not any good! We need to fix it. Please, Asami!

**...**

I'll... make Akihito leave you!

**Yeah, right.**

Okay, fine, I wouldn't do that. I'll... make you impotent!

**Uh-huh.**

Okay, I wouldn't do that, either... I'll make that last scene appear in the paper!

**That's impossible.**

No. Akihito has plenty of cameras in the penthouse. He could have recorded it.

**I have a total lockdown on the press.**

But Akihito could still have it. And he could share it with... whomever he wants. If he posts it online, even you won't be able to make it disappear.

**Akihito isn't that stupid.**

No, but you apparently are. Or you'll seem so if you make me post it as is.

**You make an interesting argument. Finally.**

You have until tomorrow morning or I'm revising it without you.

**I'll think about it.**

Think hard. Just don't wake me up in the middle of the night trying to make me write this time! I won't comply. Wait until morning. _Morning_. That's after 6am, okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've managed to write about 3200 words for the next chapter of "Checklist," but it really is awful. Asami is running wild, acting totally out of character (even for what's believable within the context of this fic, which should be fairly outside of the character of the manga) -- I mean, when he's speaking to me at all (which he's not 90+% of the time). Hopefully I can rein him in and get at least a decent rough draft tomorrow.


End file.
